The archetypes of Miami Hurricanes fans on social media

Social Media is full of characters and none are more interesting than the Miami Hurricanes Fans around the internet.

If you’ve been on social media you know there are certain types of posters in every niche- especially college football social media. More specifically, the Miami Hurricanes have a certain style of social media fan that directly reflects their past and present coaches.

Some posters are Mario Cristobal types and they’re stuck in decades past. Some are Lou Saban types and we just can’t lock down where they’re from or how they like teams in four different time zones. Then there are the Al Golden’s who say it’s the plan all along.

The Mario Cristobal

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Let’s start with the current head coach, Mario Cristobal. A Cristobal Fan is one that keeps bringing up how it was done in 1991 or 2001, refusing to admit that the entire landscape of college football has changed.

They say things like “When Butch was here,” and they’re the fan that wants Butch Davis back as the head coach, or at least as some kind of General Manager, of the program. Much like Cristobal is stuck trying to replicate what Nick Saban did a decade ago, this grouping of fan won’t let go of the 90’s.

The Jimmy Johnson

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Jimmy Johnson was always known as a psychologist who could win mind games over his players because of his degree in Psychology. The JJ Fan is one that uses phrases like “3D Chess” and thinks Shannon Dawson is ‘just holding the best plays back’ for some opponent in the future.

We’re still waiting for Dawson and Alex Mirabal to unleash their secret run concepts to add some flavor to the run game. And waiting. And still waiting. Maybe they’re so far ahead of the rest of us they seem like they’re in the back of the race.

The Larry Coker

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The never ending cheerleader. No matter how down the program is or how bad a loss- there’s always something to be positive about for the Larry Coker Fan. They clap til the can’t clap no more.

Every off-season they tell you about the Greentree All-Americans and other practice superstars and workout warriors that never seem to get drafted in the first three rounds by the NFL, or make a play when it counts in a meaningful game.

But hey, they dominated a closed scrimmage and returned punts in practice in high school back in 2018. These Kool-Aid servers will keep the “We Back?” hype train rolling into the summer every season.

The Dennis Erickson

When the Dennis Erickson Fan is on, they’re really on. When they’re not on, you just assume they were drunk at the keyboard. They’re going to win some social media arguments but also lose a couple of big ones when the pressure is on. Their ways were cutting edge five years ago, but you can see the cracks in the hull.

The Dennis Smith

The Dennis Smith Fan is in tight with the program through the youth ranks and chases around 17-year-old high school players hoping to coattail ride their signing day announcement to some type of social media fame.

It works to get double secret invitations to the closed spring and fall scrimmages but if your connection to yutes dries up will they keep calling?

The Butch Davis

The Butch Davis Fan knows there’s only one way to do things, their way! If you disagree, have an alternative, or even suggest they aren’t the leading word in Miami Football- you’re in the doghouse. They might mute you, block you, or just subtweet you. No matter their method, you aren’t in their good graces for a long, long time.

The Manny Diaz

You heard about them riding on a yacht and throwing a kegger at the tailgate and thought they were going to be pretty cool. And then you met them in real life. The Manny Diaz Fan is someone that seems cool online but they’re just another dork in person.

But their dad gave them a gold card and the beer’s on them so you’ll suffer through how dorky they are until the AMEX is cutoff by pops!

The Howard Schnellenberger

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He’s seen it all. He’s been there. He’s done that. He’s not buying into your hype. The Howard Schnellenberger Fan mutes the game on TV so he can listen to the local radio broadcast like he did in 1983.

The HSF doesn’t know what a Zyn is, but is pretty sure it sounds like propaganda from Russia. He sips scotch and only smokes Cohibas. Save the GramTok for the young punks, the Schnelly Fan only posts on Facebook.

The Al Golden

Photo by Joel Auerbach/Getty Images

“This was the plan all along, see, Mario lost to Syracuse on purpose so he could fire Lance Guidry.” We all know the Al Golden Fan. No matter how bad it gets they won’t blame their favorite coaches and tell you that was the plan all along.

They’re never wrong, it’s just that plans change.

The Lou Saban

They’re a Miami fan, but also like the New York Yankees, Los Angeles Lakers, Dallas Cowboys, Manchester United, Utah Utes and Chicago Sky. You can’t pin the Lou Saban Fan down for long as they are already on to some geographic jumble of their next favorite team.

Oh, and I hope they realize I’m just bustin’ their chops.

The Mark Richt

Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images

The Mark Richt Fan is clearly past their prime but they’ve always got one good zinger in them per season to make you think they’ve still got it. If you make a joke it’ll take them a day or two to figure it out and by then it’s already too late.

The Randy Shannon

Photo by Joel Auerbach/Getty Images

They played here, and thus, you should listen to what they have to say. Even if they might have CTE and make little to no sense and their spelling reflects a remedial 2nd grade class.

The Aaron Feld

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Their schtick was fun while it lasted but there was little substance to what they post. You’re not really sure what they bring to the table but they have a following that’s dwindling down every season.

You’d forget they’re even there but they’ve paid for algorithm boosters and to be ‘verified’ so you’re stuck seeing them pop up every time you forget you’re on the “For You” tab.

The Wrap

I hope everyone realizes this was just all in good fun. Let’s keep on commenting, posting, and creating yet another podcast about the Miami Hurricanes. Make sure to comment below which archetype you are and why.